A good walk spoiled...by your own death
I have been playing and watching golf for over 15 years and feel like I can talk the talk with just about anyone. One thing that is true out there is that you need to be mindful of your surroundings and always be in the proper position. A struck golf ball is a like a mini-missle and can do a great deal of damage to people, places and things.
The trouble with caddying is, try as you might, sometimes your personal safety is compromised. As mentioned earlier, when you are forecaddying, you are expected to be about 150 yards ahead of your players out in the fairway so as to be able to spot their tee shots. Getting caught inside of 150 yards by impatient or sadistic players can lead to some close calls. Such as...
I knew I had a little break between the ninth and tenth holes as the bets were reset, sandwiches were wolfed down and trash was talked amongst the players. I took the opportunity to relieve myself in some bushes strategically positioned about 100 yards left of the tenth tee, but in full view of the players. As I stood there with my hand full, as it were, Joe Neckbone decides to deploy one of his Titleist projectiles. This little SCUD never got more than chest high and seemed to have been programmed to terminate me with extreme prejudice. Now mind you, I am otherwise occupied and have to tick down a list of self-preservation options in the same amount if time it takes you to blink. Of course, instinct takes over and the next thing I know, I am face down in the mud, still in hand, listening to the whistle overhead. I pop back up with no more than a little dirt on one of my shoes, stow everything in its proper place and stand firm for the next player. I'll be damned if the sumbitch doesn't hit almost the identical shot, although this one was about six feet over my head. I don't think I have clearly communicated how BAD these shots were as I was standing a good 30 yards LEFT of the intended target line: the tenth fairway.
You would think that this near death experience would have been met with apologies or perhaps even an admonishment about my positioning. Again, you would be wrong. The only admonishment came when I was unable to locate the first bomb that almost ended my days.
Tough crowd.
The trouble with caddying is, try as you might, sometimes your personal safety is compromised. As mentioned earlier, when you are forecaddying, you are expected to be about 150 yards ahead of your players out in the fairway so as to be able to spot their tee shots. Getting caught inside of 150 yards by impatient or sadistic players can lead to some close calls. Such as...
I knew I had a little break between the ninth and tenth holes as the bets were reset, sandwiches were wolfed down and trash was talked amongst the players. I took the opportunity to relieve myself in some bushes strategically positioned about 100 yards left of the tenth tee, but in full view of the players. As I stood there with my hand full, as it were, Joe Neckbone decides to deploy one of his Titleist projectiles. This little SCUD never got more than chest high and seemed to have been programmed to terminate me with extreme prejudice. Now mind you, I am otherwise occupied and have to tick down a list of self-preservation options in the same amount if time it takes you to blink. Of course, instinct takes over and the next thing I know, I am face down in the mud, still in hand, listening to the whistle overhead. I pop back up with no more than a little dirt on one of my shoes, stow everything in its proper place and stand firm for the next player. I'll be damned if the sumbitch doesn't hit almost the identical shot, although this one was about six feet over my head. I don't think I have clearly communicated how BAD these shots were as I was standing a good 30 yards LEFT of the intended target line: the tenth fairway.
You would think that this near death experience would have been met with apologies or perhaps even an admonishment about my positioning. Again, you would be wrong. The only admonishment came when I was unable to locate the first bomb that almost ended my days.
Tough crowd.
posted by yakker at 11:14 AM
3 Comments:
This is hilarious. I had no idea that being a caddie was like this!
I was a caddie for awhile and this is just what it was like. I can't wait for the next post!
That's their opinion. Ryder Cup Before long, his game was basically gone. Tiger Woods is an incredible golfer, probably the best ever. The sister brands of Titleist and Cobra have opted for triangular-shaped heads, and even Nike and Callaway are offering drivers with elongated heads to hedge their bets on square.
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