The caddy mystique
There seems to be an air of mystery that surrounds the caddie. Who is this intrepid looper and what is he discussing with his player? It is akin the to mystery that surrounds the pitcher's mound conferences in major league baseball games. Are they REALLY discussing strategy about how to get this hitter out? Or are they merely speculating on who will be the next to die on "Lost"?
I have had two interesting experiences so far that have solidified my belief that certain people hold the caddie in reverence. In both instances, my advice was sought as if it were some holy grail by the truth seeking golfer. "How long have you been a pro?" I was asked yesterday. "A pro what?" I thought. On a different loop, one of the players fairly begged me to fix his hopeless swing. Suddenly it hit me: there are some people out there who think that just because we make our living on a golf course that we are all just one qualifier away from PGA Tour stardom. This misperception is no doubt perpetuated by some of us for varying motives. One motive is that we know that bad golfers hold good golfers in such high esteem that if we can do nothing to disabuse them of the notion that we, not Tiger Woods, ought to be the world's number one, then that is something we can lord over them in the hopes of leveling the social playing field and maybe somehow increasing our tip. There are definitely some low handicap players among the caddy ranks. Maybe even some ex-mini tour players. But let's face it, it's almost like making the cognitive leap that your high school gym teacher was just one bad break away from playing in the NBA. Not bloody likely.
The other primary motiviation for allowing this lie to continue to swirl around the ether is that I have found in my short time "on the grass" is that caddies just don't give a damn what you think. I carry your bag and give you a yardage. You give me a nice tip. Simple as that. We have very little leverage in the relationship, and cannot even gain some perverse satisfaction by messing with a cheap customer's food in the kitchen before it's served. The caddy tip is a completely subjective decision and despite what herculean efforts one might make, the tip is pretty much decided on before the first tee shot is hit, not after the last putt is sunk.
In such a thankless job, it lightens the load somewhat to let the golfers invent our personal golf history. Our silence fills in the details.
I have had two interesting experiences so far that have solidified my belief that certain people hold the caddie in reverence. In both instances, my advice was sought as if it were some holy grail by the truth seeking golfer. "How long have you been a pro?" I was asked yesterday. "A pro what?" I thought. On a different loop, one of the players fairly begged me to fix his hopeless swing. Suddenly it hit me: there are some people out there who think that just because we make our living on a golf course that we are all just one qualifier away from PGA Tour stardom. This misperception is no doubt perpetuated by some of us for varying motives. One motive is that we know that bad golfers hold good golfers in such high esteem that if we can do nothing to disabuse them of the notion that we, not Tiger Woods, ought to be the world's number one, then that is something we can lord over them in the hopes of leveling the social playing field and maybe somehow increasing our tip. There are definitely some low handicap players among the caddy ranks. Maybe even some ex-mini tour players. But let's face it, it's almost like making the cognitive leap that your high school gym teacher was just one bad break away from playing in the NBA. Not bloody likely.
The other primary motiviation for allowing this lie to continue to swirl around the ether is that I have found in my short time "on the grass" is that caddies just don't give a damn what you think. I carry your bag and give you a yardage. You give me a nice tip. Simple as that. We have very little leverage in the relationship, and cannot even gain some perverse satisfaction by messing with a cheap customer's food in the kitchen before it's served. The caddy tip is a completely subjective decision and despite what herculean efforts one might make, the tip is pretty much decided on before the first tee shot is hit, not after the last putt is sunk.
In such a thankless job, it lightens the load somewhat to let the golfers invent our personal golf history. Our silence fills in the details.
posted by yakker at 3:14 PM
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